In 2020 I disrupted myself several times, and it turned out to be a good year, despite the disruption happening to us all.
I did not set out for a year of big decisions, personally and professionally. And I most certainly did not see a pandemic coming. Yet a snowball of disruption grew, and now I can see how it led to a year of positive change and moved me closer to my purpose.
If you are excited by the concept of self-disruption, or simply want more tools for overcoming the disruption around you, I hope you find this motivating!
The “old way,” and a “better way”
Consider the business concept of disruption and how that might be applied to one’s own life. This is self-disruption.
Disruption begins with a mental model, way of working, or behavioural construct that has become outdated and ineffectual. It leaves a person, organisation, or market unable to fulfil its potential. To continue in those constructs will not yield a different result (per the popularised “definition of insanity”). There is a “better way” needed to disrupt the “old way”.
In the second half of 2019, I was not bringing my entire self to work. Or home. Years earlier, I had read in The Power of Full Engagement that managing one’s energy is more critical than managing one’s time. My “old way” was believing that I needed to keep pushing with my career to take the next step and that it was inevitable that I would not find time to reconnect with my growing family. I knew I needed a “better way”.
Self-Disruption: The reset and joy
Sometimes you gotta back up to go forward.
— Bryan the Beachmaster, Happy Feet 2, video
Overcoming my “old way” thinking, I took extended leave over the end of 2019 to reconnect with my family, close and afar, and live healthier. It was glorious.
In particular, were these changes:
My mental space increased: My capacity to read and listen to books returned, and I had a hunger to learn new complex skills.
I began to let joy direct my activities (a definition of play?), individually and with family. For example, bicycle mechanics with my son, kayaking with my daughter, tucking in my youngest most nights, going for coffee with my wife, camping as a family.
As play took the place of work, achieving goals became easier, such as losing 10kg of body weight.
Self-disrupting my concept of work and creating space for joy and play made me a better human, father, husband, leader, and maker.
Disruption: Overcoming with connection
Loneliness isn’t the physical absence of other people, he said—it’s the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else.
― Johann Hari, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
In early 2020 I listened to Lost Connections, which spoke of isolation’s negative impact on our collective wellbeing. When I returned to my team, they were building software at scale while adjusting to pandemic-induced isolation. My earlier self-disruption activities prepared me to help my team work through the disruption brought on us all, through these connections:
1. Connection with self
I sought to maintain an awareness of personal energy levels. Zoom fatigue was a thing, particularly for leaders. My favourite tactics were changing my work environment by taking meetings from the back patio or a local cafe, yoga sessions in the morning, and lunchtime walks. My energy tank was critical if I were to support the same for others.
2. Connection with others
Connecting through a screen is not natural. One of my popular 1-1 tips was to “get out of the conference room.” I adapted this to a walking 1-1 with both parties Zoom-calling on their phone. I sought to be more open and social over a medium that I was used to being formal. On the other hand, I also experienced a regretful misunderstanding over chat communications that could have been clarified by a stronger desire for both parties to connect.
3. Connection as a team
While they can be less intimate, I enjoyed examples where groups either spontaneously created meaningful remote connection or co-created remote connection organically. Examples I experienced included “Zoomies” (that Brady-Bunch-like photo of us all on a Zoom call), sharing of meaningful “weekend photos” in team Slack, and interactive social events such as DJ sessions.
We must pursue meaningful connection in a remote environment. Doing so as a group creates a shared experience and leads to greater resiliency amongst members in the face of disruption.
Self-disruption: Big career changes and courage
Another desire I brought back from my leave was to bring my entire self to my life and career. This led to a big career change best described in my previous blog. In this scenario, I self-disrupt the mental model of making career decisions with my “head” by making such decisions with my “heart.” Although unnatural to me in that circumstance, this led to better outcomes.
Taking this big step was an ultimate form of self-disruption for me. When talking with a colleague who made a similar decision in 2020, their reflection was intriguing: Their ability to navigate the disruption caused by the pandemic gave them resilience and courage to make a big career decision that they might have otherwise backed away from.
Self-disruption: Unlearning and essence
In December 2020, my team hosted a Girl Geek Sydney Speed Hiring event. In a 1-1 session, I was asked, “having just moved over from a large successful company, will you be seeking to repeat their successful approaches and replicate their culture at Qwilr?”
Interestingly, before and for a short time after joining Qwilr, I was thinking just that. However, the company I was joining had a strong culture, values that were shared and actioned. It challenged me to step away from doing what I had previously heard others say, “At <big Silicon Valley logo> we…” and take a more observational approach.
I chose instead to “unlearn”. That did not mean that I discarded my past learnings or experiences. It meant when I saw a problem, I observed, reflected on past successful solutions I had employed or witnessed, and distilled them down to their essence. I then created a solution based on this essence, in the context of Qwilr’s culture.
Diving into strangeness, in contrast, involves a cyclical process of first undermining the things you thought you had learned. Facts, ideas and theories, are no longer a comforting collection, but a temporary foothold as you leave them to get to something deeper.
— Scott H. Young, the art of unlearning
As I look back at past times when I’ve taken on new roles or faced new situations, I’ve either erred too far on the side of past experiences and at other times on the side of “forgetting” those experiences. What I love about the concept of “diving into strangeness” is that pursuit of essence which I believe is the “something deeper”. I’m excited by this balance and how it has helped me discover newer, fresher and novel approaches, which I am looking forward to sharing more of!
A resolution to positively self-disrupt
In a live interview following my career move, I was asked: “What is the most important learning you are taking from your time at Atlassian to Qwilr?” My answer remains true: “The belief in the ability to disrupt an old way of doing things with a new and better way.”
This is true in both a business and personal sense. It is also ongoing and not a one-time event. For me, what started as a single decision to disrupt myself became a snowball of bigger decisions and responses to external disruptions. As I became used to “diving into strangeness” I became more resilient, creative, and willing to self-disrupt again to “get to something deeper”.
Finally, let me clarify a couple of points to prevent misunderstanding:
Some disruptions are true setbacks. They require serious reflection and recovery to move forward. If that was your 2020, I wish you a season of healing ahead.
Healthy disruption has a positive means and outcome. Techniques may involve a challenge and delayed gratification, but they do not involve extreme hardship or violence.
You may have recently made a New Year’s resolution, or at least reflected on the past year and pondered the year ahead. However, in 2021, let’s not wait until the end of the year to reset and reflect. Instead, may it be a year we seek positive self-disruption and meaningful connection, overcoming the disruption around us. I wish you awareness, courage, resilience and purpose in your journey!